Mastering Myself

One of the greatest gifts that recovery has given me is discipline. Early in my recovery, I learned the importance of having a routine, making my bed each day, getting up early to be productive, and showing up to do the things I say I am going to do. Consistency inevitably leads to progress, long-term success, and better habits build self-confidence. As I stayed in recovery, I learned that I had to carry this level of discipline into every aspect of my life including my career, any form of integrated development, in my relationships, and at home. Then I had children, and becoming a mother enhanced my ability to show up in ways I didn't know possible.

Being a mom in recovery means that I have to wake up every day ready to take on whatever the world has for me. Over the last couple years, it has become evident that life stops for nobody. As we face adversity, triumph, and everything in between, the world keeps spinning, and the only thing that has allowed me to stay grounded has been my rigorous self-discipline and level of commitment to myself to show up and be better each day, however that may look. Granted, there are days where I fall short and may be on the brink of exhaustion, but when I persevere, I am met with grace and serenity every time.

Resilience is developed through consistent effort and overcoming challenges, and I am a firm believer that resilience is one of the greatest character traits a person can have. This concept allows me to find gratitude when I am facing difficult times, because I know that if I can push through the discomfort, I will be better on the other side. This brings me to the first thing I do to remained disciplined: creative a cognitive shift.

Early in recovery, I had to train my mind to think of any encounter as an opportunity rather than an obstacle. Changing my "have to do" to "get to do" shifted my entire perspective, as well as reminding myself that many of the things I see as some sort of hindrance these days are usually things I used to pray for. It is always a blessing to wake up, go to work, spend time with my children, attend meetings, go to the grocery, do laundry, and show up wherever I am tasked because I used to stay up begging God for the life I have today. I never thought I would have a career, a place of my own, or children to love, and now I want to act as if I am at a disadvantage? What an affront. It is much easier to remain disciplined if you keep an attitude of gratitude, and remember that each day is an opportunity to experience and grow.

So we've been given these opportunities, but we still struggle to find ways to capitalize upon them. I often have people ask me how I find the motivation to do the things I do. How did you become motivated to go to the gym? How do you find motivation to show up and volunteer? How do you stay motivated to do so much with your children? And if I am being honest, I have no idea, and I don't even think motivation is a requirement to keep moving forward in life. I live by the premise that if you are constantly searching for some sort of motivation to make a lifestyle change, you are destined to remain stagnant. Discipline taught me that taking action, even when you lack motivation, will still lead to results. For me, developing a plan and putting one foot in front of the other has gotten me much farther than any motivating factor. Feeling motivated and inspired is great, but I have to follow my plan, not my mood, in order to stay consistent.

Though I may not look for inspiration at all times, I do seek encouragement and support from a variety of sources. Just as maintaining my recovery and my sanity in motherhood requires support from my friends, my community, and my spiritual life, so does my ability to be disciplined in all that I do. I often ask for advice and accountability from my support group, I surround myself with people who are ambitious and persistent as I wish to be, and I pray for the guidance to carry out whatever it is that I hope to achieve. Though I pride myself on being independent, I have to humbly remind myself that if I want to experience true success, I will always need support to navigate my life.

When all else fails and I think of throwing in the towel, I remember that I owe it to myself to be disciplined. As a mom and someone in recovery, I am constantly giving of myself. I am needed in every space I enter, and the best way I can care for myself is to be committed to myself. I owe it to me to make my bed every morning, eat healthy, go to the gym, seize the opportunities to learn and grow personally and professionally, strengthen my spiritual connection, and become a better mom, friend, and all around member of society. I deserve to take the time to pour into myself in these ways and paradoxically, I will be a better person for those around me. Every day is not going to feel like a win, but as James Clear mentioned in "Atomic Habits", all big things come from small beginnings, and our 1% each day will soon tally up to reveal a drastic change in our lives. If you wish to be resilient, consistent, persistent, and successful, you must start with discipline.