A huge opportunity!

The day-to-day load of being a full-time mother, employee, and person in long-term recovery certainly begins to take its toll. It is easy to start to see life as a misfortune rather than an opportunity. Being a mom has taught me about many strengths I did not know I had, and I am constantly learning to balance my life each day.

I wake up around 7:30 each morning and immediately begin changing diapers, brushing teeth, and scrambling together some breakfast. I work from home, so I instantly open my laptop and make sure to keep my phone in arms reach. Somehow, I manage to answer emails and calls while Mrs. Rachel blares from my T.V. Around noon, my daughter will finally crash and I can inhale some sort of food to refuel. When she wakes up, it’s back to the races. By 5:00 in the afternoon, work has slowed down but there are still loads of dishes, laundry, and dinner to be made. As we sit down to eat, I am planning how to perfectly execute our bath and bedtime routine, so that I can get a few minutes for myself. Maybe, just maybe, I can attend a recovery meeting or call a member of my support group. By the time I am back in bed, I have already accumulated a list of things to accomplish when I wake up. There is never enough time in a day and the to-do lists seem to never end.

I often find myself becoming anxious or depressed when things feel out of control, and I end up acting out of character. Caring for children while simultaneously managing your own mental health can feel impossible among the chaos that comes with each wake up. While this all seems inconceivable, there are ways to prioritize and operate in a way that will make life not only bearable, but actually enjoyable.

Here are 5 major ways that I was recently able to implement balance in my life.

1. Put your phone down. I found myself scrolling aimlessly through Tik-Tok, Facebook, and Twitter, when I could easily be gaining quality time spent with my family. We limit screen time for our daughter, but we weren’t doing so for ourselves. Taking time away from our devices can drastically improve our emotional connection to our children, family, and with ourselves.

2. Connect with others. I have always had a small circle of friends and support group members that I talk to regularly. Since becoming a mom, I have realized the importance of creating my own village. When we attend meetings frequently, set playdates, and pick up the phone regularly, we are surrounding ourselves with the love and support we may need when the going gets tough. It also allows us to be vulnerable and know that we are not alone.

3. Take care of yourself. I have spoken about self-care numerous times, but I still don’t always make it a priority. When we eat healthy, exercise, and get plenty of sleep, it makes a world of difference. Simply setting aside time to read a chapter in our self-help book, baking our favorite sweet snack, or watching a new movie can give us the fuel to get through another day.

4. Withhold boundaries. Setting and holding boundaries allows me to take control of my life when things are feeling messy. Saying “no” to things that are redundant will drastically lighten our load. This is the best way for us to protect our well-being.

5. Reframe your thoughts. Instead of “Wow, my house is such a mess!”, I can tell myself that I am grateful that my daughter has toys to play with, clothes to wear, and food to dirty the dishes. We must be mindful of how we speak to ourselves and how we speak about our life. There may be a whirlwind of tasks to complete, but there was a time when we begged for these moments.

None of us do this life perfectly, and there is no such thing as true “balance”. Sometimes the best we can do is to simply remain in recovery and support our children the best we can. Nevertheless, we can still find ways to make life gratifying, regardless of the weight we carry. The good news is, we get another 24 hours to wake up and do it again. Therefore, we will continue to be given the opportunity to grow in understanding and effectiveness!