Fix her crown.

My career has given me the ability to keep an open mind. It has been ingrained in me that recovery is not “one size fits all”, and it looks incredibly different for everyone. Recently, I had the idea that radical inclusivity should not pertain only to people in recovery, but also in all walks of life. Especially motherhood.

Moms face a large amount of judgement about a multitude of things. We are judged for how we give birth, how we feed our children, what boundaries we set in place, and pretty much everything we do or don’t do. Everyday we are faced with decisions on how to be the best mother we can be. And because there is no “right way” to do things, there is room left for all sorts of judgement. This often leads us to have feelings of guilt and inadequacy.

Mom guilt comes from an unrealistic idea of a “perfect mom”. Society places many expectations on us, but the reality is, every child is vastly different. Therefore, every mother will choose to parent differently to best meet their child’s needs. So why should anyone feel as though they can shame, judge, or stigmatize a mom for doing her best?

“Mom-on-mom” judgement is actually the most common form of this thinking and is the primary cause of mom guilt. Whether were posting in our mom groups on Facebook or simply taking the kids to the grocery store, we are subject to face some form of criticism or critiquing from a fellow mom. We have enough pressure as it is, trying to keep the house clean, the family fed, and maintain our personal recovery. Since we are all facing the same hardships, we should aim to uplift one another and empower other moms as we would ourselves.

I am a firm believer in fixing another woman’s crown, especially another mom. But how can we do that when we are so busy holding our own head up?

One major way I have found that I can uplift other moms is to share my story. Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable and heard in this world is extremely important. So many moms are struggling, facing the same adversity I have. If I can shed some light or simply let you know that you are not alone, then I will continue to share my thoughts and experiences.

Offering support and resources is a great way to elevate another mom’s life and personal recovery. Encouraging self-care, giving sincere compliments, and giving validation can produce a total reset to someone’s attitude. Just as a person in recovery has the power to reach someone struggling with substances, a mother has the power to uplift another mother like no one else. A simple, “You’re a great mom” from another mom, has the power to get me through another day. Never underestimate your ability to impact someone’s life, even if you’re struggling yourself.

I encourage you to reach out to other moms, as you have the time, and offer what you can. Be conscious of other’s feelings and keep in mind what a large role you play. When moms support each other, incredible things happen!