Something great to imitate.

My daughter is finally approaching the stage where she is beginning to imitate myself and her father. When we clap, she claps. When we smile, she smiles. She is learning all sorts of gestures and mimicking us in many ways. While I am extremely proud of her and overjoyed to see her developing new skills, I can’t help but to think about the other ways that I may influence her over the years.

Throughout my recovery process, I have learned different ways to cope with my thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Although I am not always perfect, I have more motivation than ever to find stability for not only myself, but for my daughter as well. I often think about the example I set for my daughter, especially now that she is aware of my actions.

We often find ourselves having irrational and negative thoughts about other people, places, situations, and even ourselves. Luckily, we can reframe our thoughts and place ourselves in a position to see life in a positive light. I know, this is much easier said than done. But, if it were easy, everyone would do it. In order to best control my behaviors, I know that I have to manage my thoughts and feelings. For me, I find that most of the time, my thoughts are irrational, which then result in negative feelings. Thankfully, I am able to recognize when I am thinking unreasonably, but I have to actively work to make a change.

When I become aware of my negative thoughts, I tend to think of a gratitude list or something similar. There is always a positive lesson to be learned, a helpful takeaway, or simply a different perspective that I can take. When I find the benefits in a difficult time, it becomes a learning opportunity rather than a time to become angry or frustrated. But I have to stay open-minded and willing.

I also enjoy utilizing self-help books, podcasts focused on reframing the mind, and staying mindful in each moment.

Some of my favorite books are:

“The Light We Carry” by Michelle Obama, “Raising Good Humans” by Hunter Clarke-Fields, MSAE, and “Mama, You Are Enough” by Claire Nicogossian, PsyD.

Some of my favorite Podcasts are:

“The Positive Mindset Podcast” by Henry G Lawrence, “The Papaya Podcast” by Sarah Nicole Landry, and of course, “TED Talks Daily” by TED.

Needless to say, mindfulness is practiced differently by everyone. Personally, I find it to be most helpful when I am able to slow down and consciously stay present in my day to day at work, with my family, and with myself. I wake up with a purpose and goal in mind, setting my intentions for the day. This allows me to take my day moment by moment, celebrating small wins as I go. The more I stay aware and observant, the more likely I am to find gratitude and remain positive.

Recovery has taught me how important it is to stay grounded in my thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Now that I am a mother, it is even more imperative. My hope is that my daughter will see her mom as someone who is actively working to improve upon her thoughts, feelings, and behaving as such. I strive to have healthy behaviors because I have little eyes watching me. The best way I can teach my daughter is to live in the best way possible.

I encourage you to think about the many ways you influence your children, and how your recovery can help you along the way. And even on days when you don’t do things perfectly, know that in your child's eyes, you mean everything to them!